Over the past few years, as I have gone from working for companies with hundreds employees to starting my own, I’ve had the opportunity to re-evaluate everything I know about business and relationships.
Growing up in an entrepreneur’s home, I had a father who warned me of the risks of getting too close to your employees. Although he was always friendly when I witnessed him at work, he had beliefs about not getting to know people too well because it could cloud business judgment.
“Don’t become friends with your employees,” he would tell me. (He sort of had the same philosophy when it came to parenting. I wanted my dad to be a pal, but he chose to be my father; it worked out well, but made no sense to me until much later.)
This ideology stuck with me early in my career. I decided to stay at arm’s length from employees; as I grew into more senior roles, I became more and more standoff(ish). I didn’t want to have that “cloudy” judgment about employees, vendors, or even customers. I had to be able to act rationally, so I took my father’s advice and kept things as impersonal as possible.
How True is This Philosophy Today?
Today, we live in an ultra-connected world. As business owners or leaders, we can choose whether or not we live our lives in pubic on social websites, but we are much more connected.
I’m sure a few of you have come into the oh-so-interesting position of receiving a friend request on Facebook from an employee. What do you do?
While I do believe that, at times, business owners need to make decisions that are rational about people they like, I also think we’ve evolved beyond the point of the “arm’s length” relationship that so often took place between managers and their staff.
As leadership evolved from a top-down chain of command to a “get-the-most-out-of-your-people-through-servant-leadership” style, there has been an evolution of compassion, empathy, and even friendship taking place between a manager and his or her employee. While this may sound a bit unnatural, if you really consider the people who offer you the most – both personally and professionally – aren’t they usually people you share a bit more depth with in your relationship?
A Delicate But Worthwhile Balance
Companies are going to fight harder for talent; what will keep employees inspired about work is going to be more than a paycheck.
Corporate culture will rule the roost. In an industry where small businesses that can rarely offer more than their enterprise counterparts, it’s going to be relationships that matter.
But none of this means that you can’t or shouldn’t be able to properly manage your staff. Even if you like your employees, or consider them friends, you should be able to oversee, discipline, and even terminate when a situation calls for it. Will it be hard? Of course, but any manager who has ever fired anyone knows it’s hard and it’s personal – even if you did keep your distance.
An organization may benefit from better performance if the culture is one where people enjoy working together. Sure, a rational approach and a little competition can fire people up. But if I were just entering the workforce, I would sure like to find a company where my leaders were willing to listen, care, and be a friend and mentor. For all that seems wrong with it, there is so much that could go right.
If nothing else, we’ve entered an age where our work and personal lives are barely separate – so we may as well break down the barriers between the people we spend about one-third to one-half of our lives with, shouldn’t we? -Daniel Newman, BroadSuite Consulting